slowing down

notes on Why Having Free Will Holds You Back

The video hinges on a study conducted by Benjamin Libet. In the study it was found that the brain makes a decision before we are consciously aware of it. Additionally, a second or so before an action, Bereitschaftspotential, or readiness potential, is built up.

Dr. K, the speaker in the video, makes the connection that the difference between non-procrastinators and procrastinators (originally high and low performers) is that non-procrastinators will build up readiness potential, while procrastinators will quickly jump between actions without thought.

Procrastinate less by leveraging readiness potential. Deliberately think on the options you have, rather than having autopilot guide you. This also has the effect of intentional binding, in which you will be more likely to repeat an action you intentionally chose, rather than one you decided hastily.

Afterwards, conduct a "postmortem" on the situation. See what went well and what didn't, but don't mistake this with beating yourself up for a negative outcome. Be as logical as you can.

Another aspect of the brain to take advantage of is avoidance. Procrastinators often mistakingly think that non-procrastinators achieve success through pure dicipline. Non-procrastinators avoid as well, but choose what they want to avoid.

An example Dr. K gives is that he doesn't want to go to the grocery store at 10PM, but he also doesn't want to wake up with no food in the fridge, so he goes. In my life, I see this when I don't want to sleep, but also doesn't want to feel tired the next day.

TLDR: Take your time and make a choice, then assess what happened. Decide what you what to avoid.

catch up

Was planning on posting something here weekly. Whoops!!!! Time got away from me.

Really not much thoughts this week.

So some cool things instead:

• mmm.page: Make a website by dragging and dropping.
• RAPIDLY PRESS X TO REFUSE TO COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR OWN MORTALITY
• Puella Magi Madoka Magica Music Collection: Two hours long but I love it...... a great mix of fast and slow paced tracks.
  

posting is funny

 ok... i will try something new and be more clear. this is a log full of my doubts

i've developed a bit of "posting shame", specifically in terms of art

before, as a kid, no matter what i would post my very friendly friends (who only had good intentions) would be happy for it. i didn't have the "refined" taste i do now, so if they were happy, i was happy and that's all that mattered

i can guess a few reasons as to why this changed. the posting environment became unfriendly and geared towards numbers and speed. i got older and started knowing better. everything came to feel more instantaneous

i did fall into the trap of posting slop for attention again (terrible to admit!), but i realized that if i ever wanted to sate myself, i'd have to stop and spend more time with my art

this meant posting restrictions. only on instagram, only on fridays, every other week. and, this is fine, its worked out well so far. engagement isn't my greatest priority anyway

there's still a few of issues, though

1. the lack of feedback can make you feel pretty bad. it's the typical artist's dilemma of "is what i'm making/saying worth anything at all?" and i know (maybe falsely) that no amount of comments or likes will fix this because it's a feeling that can only be eased through self-acceptance and self-love... or something

2. the unease of having to post consistently. to me, this exacerbates the feelings that come from creativity being a gamble. actually, this issue i have a handle on, thanks to "a course in demonic creativity" (which is not about demons) ....

the tldr is, as an artist, you have a process unique to yourself. if you fully get to know what works for you, it'll be easier to tap in. in the novel, there's an example of Rudyard Kipling, who would only use the "blackest" of inks for his writing because he knew it would give him the greatest output

to be honest, i'm not sure how to end this so i will be honest and say that i'm glad i wrote this. i guess i could have journaled this (sorry, posting shame again) but posting it made me take an outsider's perspective for a second. ^__^